Welcome back!
I know that a lot of you guys love my more personal posts, so I thought I would share something I had experienced recently that has not only had a massive impact on the last seven and a half months of my life, but has also changed my outlook on life massively. As most of you reading this will know, last year I spent the months August-December studying in the greatest city on earth, New York. I will forever cherish every moment that I spent there. There was one day in particular during my trip when my daily routine resulted in a pretty scary realisation. I was taking a shower and came across a prominent lump in my right boob.
My mind went into complete overdrive.
All I could think about was the fact that I was so far away from home and it was still quite a few weeks before I would leave the city. It was almost my time of the month when I noticed the lump and after a quick Google (I know, not the best health resource) I discovered that lumps sometimes appear around that time. I noticed however that it didn't disappear or even reduce in size meaning something was definitely up. I'm embarrassed to say that I kept it to myself for a little while as I didn't want to scare other people and part of me also thought if I didn't talk about it I could pretend it wasn't there. This of course now seems silly as finding a lump doesn't automatically mean a person has cancer, but I was convinced that this was the case (stupid I know). What I find worrying is that before that one day, I never made a point of checking myself and I know I wont be alone when saying that.
I began to realise that the longer I dwelled on it the more worked up I was getting and I think it started to show in how I was acting. I eventually confided in one of the girls that I have become really close friends with from the trip. I'm so unbelievably glad I did as she was the person who kick started the process of me actually dealing with the situation rather than just thinking about it. Thank you so much Lucy you little star! There were tears and obviously nerves as neither of us could say I was 100% fine until I got checked. The next task was calling my mam and telling her which I found so difficult, not because I can't tell her things (I literally tell her everything and I'm so thankful for how close we are). It was more that I didn't want to upset and scare her which I know now was silly. I just didn't want her to feel helpless seeing as I was over 3000 miles away.
I could definitely breath easier after that phone call. My mam was strong for me even though I know inside she was freaking out but it was just what I needed. Due to me still having weeks left in New York, both of my parents thought it would be wise for me to try and get things checked out while I was over there just to see if I could find out anything more/put my mind at rest a little bit. At first I completely dismissed this idea as I hated the thought of having to go through something so personal on my own. I was also thinking about how much it might cost to see a doctor which on reflection is so terrifying. Up until that point I had never properly thought about how amazing and precious the NHS is. Luckily I had paid for health insurance meaning I had certain levels of access to the health services on campus at The Fashion Institute of Technology. I must have psyched myself up to go for a consultation six times before actually going through with it. There were even occasions when I sat filling a form out in the reception and I'd get myself so worked up that I'd leave in a panic.
I eventually did it and I'll be honest by saying the experience was very uncomfortable. Maybe the doctor who saw me was just having a bad day but it really felt like she just wanted to get all of her appointments out of the way as soon as possible. To make things even worse when she examined me with her ice cold hands she ended up discovering two other lumps, one below the one I found in my right boob and one in my left boob too.
I'll admit I did panic after that as she was firing so much information at me, telling me I needed to go to this clinic on this date and blah blah blah blah. I was handed so many pieces of paper but everything I was told just went right over my head. After speaking to my parents on the phone we decided it would be best for me to deal with it all properly when I was home and comfortable. I put it to the back of my mind as best as I could for the remaining time I had left in New York and I'm so glad I did!
So that was fun!
I'll admit I did panic after that as she was firing so much information at me, telling me I needed to go to this clinic on this date and blah blah blah blah. I was handed so many pieces of paper but everything I was told just went right over my head. After speaking to my parents on the phone we decided it would be best for me to deal with it all properly when I was home and comfortable. I put it to the back of my mind as best as I could for the remaining time I had left in New York and I'm so glad I did!
I travelled back to the U.K. two days before Christmas which was super hectic, but thankfully managed to get a hospital appointment in a breast screening clinic the day before Christmas Eve which I am so unbelievably grateful for. I immediately noticed such a huge difference in terms of how well I was treated and looked after by all of the staff I encountered. Being examined so personally isn't fun for anyone but they all made it as easy as it could have been. After being looked at by a nurse, my doctor decided it would be best for me to have a biopsy as he couldn't be sure if my lumps were cancerous or not without one. I stopped listening when I was told it would involve various needles as they're something that really freak me out! While a second doctor worked on getting my biopsy done as quickly as possible, I spent my time staring at the nurse in the room who held my hand and kept me talking so I was distracted the entire time - she was amazing!
Samples were taken from the lumps which were then sent away to be tested. I was so pleased to hear my doctor say they were...
I have never felt such an overwhelming sense of relief in my entire life. I made the decision that I wanted to have the lumps removed following advice from my doctor. Due to me studying in Nottingham I had to postpone everything as I needed to focus on my work. I think I did a pretty good job at keeping it at the back of my mind but as soon as I handed my work in, it all really reared its head and I just wanted to get it out of the way. For me build ups are always worse than aftermaths as I'm so bad for overthinking situations and getting myself worked up.
I'd say I didn't start getting properly nervous until the night before my operation. I knew I was in good hands and that everything was highly likely to turn out just fine but I found it really hard to accept and get my head around. It's safe to say that I wouldn't have been as brave or as strong as I was without my mam by my side. She is my absolute rock. I was told at my pre-assessment that my mam would only be able to sit with me in the reception area but after that I would be on my own. Thanks to her charm and sheer determination she ended up staying with me right up until I was put to sleep just before the operation took place. Without her I know I would've been a complete nervous wreck in the hours leading up to it, but she held my hand and talked complete rubbish (which was just what I needed) resulting in me remaining as calm as I could. Right up until I saw the needle that would be put into my hand that is, which tipped me over the edge caused me to cry like a baby (slightly embarrassing infront of three anaesthetists but oh well!)
Fast forward to now and I'm on the mend and feeling so much better. My wounds are healing nicely and the pain is bearable. Before my operation I thought I only had three lumps, but post operation my doctor told me he actually removed six lumps which is so crazy to me! I sat and worked it out and realised that throughout this whole experience right up from when I first got seen to now I have been in contact with at least 20 NHS staff members. Each and every one of them treated me incredibly and made me feel so comfortable in the circumstances. I honestly cannot fault the service I have received.
So, moral of the story (get to the point Lana). Please please PLEASE take the time to check yourselves. It literally takes less than five minutes and can be done in the shower/in front of a mirror. Make it part of your weekly routine. Don't be naive and wait until you stumble across something like I did. I was 18 years old and thought that breast issues were something that would only become relevant/something to be aware of five to ten years down the line. Oh boy was I wrong!
I won't sugar coat it, it's a horrible thing to go through, but it's so so important that you look out for yourself and do what is necessary to remain healthy. There is such a massive taboo surrounding boobs in general and I'm so mad at myself for ever feeling embarrassed about the issues I have had with mine. Don't be afraid to speak up if you think something doesn't feel or look right. I'm more than happy to talk to anyone reading this that is nervous or worried, so please feel free to message me if so!
I thank my lucky stars everyday that my lumps weren't life threatening but not everyone receives such positive news. If you want more information on what signs you need to look out for then click here.
Love, Lana Skye x
Samples were taken from the lumps which were then sent away to be tested. I was so pleased to hear my doctor say they were...
100% non cancerous
I have never felt such an overwhelming sense of relief in my entire life. I made the decision that I wanted to have the lumps removed following advice from my doctor. Due to me studying in Nottingham I had to postpone everything as I needed to focus on my work. I think I did a pretty good job at keeping it at the back of my mind but as soon as I handed my work in, it all really reared its head and I just wanted to get it out of the way. For me build ups are always worse than aftermaths as I'm so bad for overthinking situations and getting myself worked up.
I'd say I didn't start getting properly nervous until the night before my operation. I knew I was in good hands and that everything was highly likely to turn out just fine but I found it really hard to accept and get my head around. It's safe to say that I wouldn't have been as brave or as strong as I was without my mam by my side. She is my absolute rock. I was told at my pre-assessment that my mam would only be able to sit with me in the reception area but after that I would be on my own. Thanks to her charm and sheer determination she ended up staying with me right up until I was put to sleep just before the operation took place. Without her I know I would've been a complete nervous wreck in the hours leading up to it, but she held my hand and talked complete rubbish (which was just what I needed) resulting in me remaining as calm as I could. Right up until I saw the needle that would be put into my hand that is, which tipped me over the edge caused me to cry like a baby (slightly embarrassing infront of three anaesthetists but oh well!)
Fast forward to now and I'm on the mend and feeling so much better. My wounds are healing nicely and the pain is bearable. Before my operation I thought I only had three lumps, but post operation my doctor told me he actually removed six lumps which is so crazy to me! I sat and worked it out and realised that throughout this whole experience right up from when I first got seen to now I have been in contact with at least 20 NHS staff members. Each and every one of them treated me incredibly and made me feel so comfortable in the circumstances. I honestly cannot fault the service I have received.
So, moral of the story (get to the point Lana). Please please PLEASE take the time to check yourselves. It literally takes less than five minutes and can be done in the shower/in front of a mirror. Make it part of your weekly routine. Don't be naive and wait until you stumble across something like I did. I was 18 years old and thought that breast issues were something that would only become relevant/something to be aware of five to ten years down the line. Oh boy was I wrong!
I won't sugar coat it, it's a horrible thing to go through, but it's so so important that you look out for yourself and do what is necessary to remain healthy. There is such a massive taboo surrounding boobs in general and I'm so mad at myself for ever feeling embarrassed about the issues I have had with mine. Don't be afraid to speak up if you think something doesn't feel or look right. I'm more than happy to talk to anyone reading this that is nervous or worried, so please feel free to message me if so!
I thank my lucky stars everyday that my lumps weren't life threatening but not everyone receives such positive news. If you want more information on what signs you need to look out for then click here.
I really hope you enjoyed reading this post, it took a lot for me to write it but I'm so glad I did.
Love, Lana Skye x
